Of the difference between steady and spiritless.

Why do I have to be in the middle of something to remember how much I enjoy it? And if I am in the middle of something, why can't I remember that there are other things I enjoy doing too? I've been thinking lately about how focused I can be on whatever I happen to be doing at the present moment. I enjoy being passionate and energized about what I do, I just don't like that I can loose sight of other things that aren't immediately in front of me. Put me in one situation, and I'll think "wow... I'd forgotten how much I love this. I should spend more attention on it. Let me do that by promising to do ___! How fun!" A bit of space and I'll think "dang. I'd rather be doing ___." Usually with much growling I'll follow through on what I promised to do, and almost always end up happy that I did - still. I wish I was a bit more even-keeled.

Really this isn't anything new to me, I've known about that tendency for a while, so I try to be careful about what I let myself commit to. Sometimes too careful. Steadiness doesn't seem to come naturally to me... when I aim for it, I skew into being overly-cautious and indecisive. It's fun to hop from activity to activity, not tied to any one place - but it's also shallow. How do you learn discipline, courage, or trust doing something like that? Constantly reminding yourself when you want to jump into something that "you may not feel the same tomorrow!" is a terrible and sure-fire way to do nothing at all. Really it's an uninteresting and absurd statement - of course you won't feel the same "tomorrow." How else would God teach perseverance (or humility - when you have to admit you got yourself involved where you shouldn't have)?

So I'm not sure yet how to temper enthusiasm to something more reasonable, but I think I prefer being overly-bold (and occasionally grumpy about my obligations) to being... lukewarm and timid.